the things they carried -9

In this part of the book i read from page 55 to 60. In this part of the book one day Elroy takes him out fishing his last day at the cabin. He realizes as he goes fishing hes 20 miles off the Canadian shore and he feels a sudden tightness and pressure in his chest. He is scared and thinking should i do it? Should i jump in and go? He knew that Elroy had done this on purpose because he knew that Elroy knew and that he was trying to help him. As he was going to jump in he had seen everyone from his past. He had seen people also that would be in his future. The people he saw were his ex girlfriends, cheerleaders with smooth brown thighs, all his aunts and uncles, Abraham Lincoln, Saint George, a nine year old girl named Linda who died of a brain tumor in 5th grade who he had remembered, several members of the U.S senate, a blind poet scribbling notes, and LBJ, and Huck Finn, and Abbie Hoffman, and all the dead soldiers back from the grave, and the thousands who were later to die, he saw villagers with terrible burns, kids without arms or legs, he saw the joint chiefs of staff, and he saw some popes, and a first lieutenant named Jimmy Cross..., and he saw the last surviving american veteran of the civil war, and Jane Fonda dressed up as Barbella, and an old man sprawled beside a pigpen, and my grandfather, and Gary Cooper, and a kind faced woman carrying an umbrella and a copy of Plato's republic, and a million ferocious citizens waving flags of all shapes and colors, people in hard hats, people in head bands, all whooping him towards one shore on the Canadian side or another shore on the American side. His wife and unborn children were there his two sons and one daughter and a drill sergeant named Blyton. This is why he could not jump off the boat going to the Canadian shore. All the people watching him calling him a pussy and or turncoat or such words. The reason he was embarrassed to tell this story was because he started crying and then he couldn't jump off the boat because of all the people watching him he was to scared and embarrassed and he felt as if he had to go to war and he felt the sense of duty and the Elroy turned the boat around and went back to the shore.